Men and Women are meant to be Equal Partners – Reflections from Sarah

I think this topic is one of the most debated topic and something most people still cannot come to terms with. I find it intriguing that when someone talks about women’s rights, most men (no offense to all the male population as there are plenty of good and open minded ones) tend to get defensive and say what about men’s rights, men gets harassed by women too, women have special reservations and privileges that men don’t have etc etc. It’s sad to see people try to play the victim card when majority of their populations are treated with “by default entitlement” which some of them don’t even deserve. The whole point of why there has to be separate women’s rights – apart from the actual human rights – explains there is something terribly wrong with the way the world treats the female population. If everyone was right,  well then there would not be a need for women’s rights. Women have always been treated as lower human beings. The situation of women is better in the west these days, but there is no denying that the men still have an upper hand in many things. They have better privileges and more opportunities than women. When it comes to women in developing countries, underdeveloped countries and the middle east, a lot of work still needs to be done even to ensure basic human rights for women.

We see discrimination against women even in Christian settings. It may not be as obvious as the worldly setting, it is subtle but it’s there. Focusing on our own Indian setting, when we turn to the church where sometimes men and women regard themselves progressive and less superstitious, how many women are  actually ordained as Pastors even when they graduate with the same theology courses as the men? How many women are given lead roles in churches? How many women are allowed to preach and minister to the congregation? The numbers are alarmingly low. You may be able to point out a few women on TV or the wives of famous Pastors who give sermons, but look at the percentage – it is a shame. Even in the west many conservative churches don’t allow a woman to lead the congregation. Why is that?

 

Let me tell you beforehand, that this isn’t about feminism or any of those other terms misused by the public. My writing is just a revelation, an understanding of the original God intended position of man and woman in this world when they were created as explained in the bible by the word of God.

 

Now some of you may say it was St. Paul who gave instructions on how to run the church, and that women were not meant to play leading roles then, and that Paul also provides instructions for women to follow. Let’s not forget Paul was teaching according to the social conditioning of his time. His core message about Jesus applies till date. He was an intelligent man who taught people in the context of their settings, so that they would understand. Being an independent and strong-willed woman myself, I have often asked these questions: Why did God make everything so easy for men? Why does the woman always have to be in submissive roles? Why are women not given a voice of their own and why do they always have to be in the background? Does God favour men more than women? I couldn’t come to terms with such beliefs. I would not accept the fact that God favoured men, or that He made them special because He created them first.

 

I know He loves us all equally so there would be no way he would favour one more than the other. I searched for answers but no one could tell me proper answers, not even Pastors and God fearing men and women. But the Bible says, “Seek and ye shall find”. Those who seek eventually find the answers and God revealed to me one afternoon when  I was sitting in a cafe drinking my coffee.

This treatment of women is an issue that has gone so terribly wrong especially in our country where women are treated even lesser than animals at times. Why are they denied opportunities even when they are capable? Why are they oppressed and trampled on by men? Why are they not allowed to speak up for themselves? Why are only men allowed to make important decisions for the family? Why are the men considered the head of the family?

 

This horrible condition wasn’t what God intended for women in the beginning. But over time with social conditioning and the curse given by God continued (which will continue) and it has become a vicious cycle extremely difficult to break. For the way women have been mistreated from the beginning of time the men alone are not to be blamed, even if the men are perpetrators most of the time, I believe both men and women are responsible equally.

 

The only thing that can break this cycle is the redemption of Jesus and the understanding of the true power of that redemption.   

 

When I put out a statement such as “It’s not a rule that the husband should be the head of the family, only Christ should be the head of the family”,  or if I say “It’s not necessary for the wife to submit to their husbands”, I get gasps from good old Christians men and women. Okay, gasp is an exaggeration, it’s more like a disapproving glare usually, or a nod in disagreement. Some men give me offended looks, but this is quite rare. Many of these men quote from the bible. A favorite of theirs is Ephesians 5: 22 -23 – “Wives submit yourselves to your husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, of which He is the Saviour”. Both men and women say this, and they also quote many other teachings of Paul about the role of women, and then say their most repeated argument which they often deliver with pride – “God said to the woman your husband shall rule over you, it’s in the bible. It’s a direct quote from God, so do you want to disobey what God to a woman in the Bible?”.

 

At this point I just nod and sit there thinking ‘God please educate this person, I can’t do it anymore. I usually recognise the ones who are the know-it-alls –  too full of themselves, the ones who can’t accept any change to their worldview.

 

Then there are the second kid of people – the ones who quote these words genuinely (and honestly) since that’s all they’ve ever known, but some of these people are open to different perspectives. You can bet who I end up having nice wonderful conversations listening to them and sharing my reflection with them.

 

Let’s go back to the beginning of creation in Genesis 1, I know you’ve read it plenty of times and it’s the same story but stay with me  I promise this will be interesting if not well you can always unfriend me on facebook( *whispers* that’s a big deal nowadays… apparently).

 

Genesis 1:27 “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”

 

This is the creation part where we learn mankind were created in the image of God, not just man in the image of God but both man and woman. Let’s see the specific in the next chapter, how and why women were created?

 

Genesis 2:20 “So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.”

 

With thousands of creations no suitable partner was available for man and the bible says it’s not good for a man to be alone. We read ahead that God created woman out of the rib of man.

 

Mark this word – “helper”. This is the word which most people get wrong. To change this word to ‘servants’ or ‘maids’ sounds degrading. We say helper, but many times the word “helper” is used with a connotation of servitude. Most people assume from this verse that the woman was created only to help and support man.

 

Let’s look deeper into this word. The word helper in hebrew is the term ‘ezer this word is a combination of two root words one meaning “to rescue”, “to save” and the other “to be strong.” This ‘ezer’ appears 21 times in the hebrew Bible and in eight instances the word means “saviour”. This term is used to describe God on some of these occasions.

In Samuel 7:12, the word “ebenezer” which means “God’s deliverance” is used. When broken down, it is formed of “eben” meaning ‘rock’ and “ezer” means ‘help’ or ‘salvation’. The “ezer” here is the same word God used to describe Eve in Genesis. She was created not just as a “helper” in the way we mean it to be, but was also intended to be his saviour, his deliverer. Further the greek word used for helper is boēthós meaning “strength” and “rescuer”. In the noun form it means “a  cry out” or an “intense exclamation”. Whereas when it’s a verb, ‘boetheo’ means “to come to rescue” or “to supply urgently needed help”. These meanings tell us that the woman was created because she was urgently needed by man. She was the divine help to rescue man.

 

With that being said, when God created man and woman he blessed them. These blessings were not for man alone. God intended for them to be partners, and to work side by side equally. He didn’t state, “ Man – you are superior to woman” or “Woman – you are inferior to man”. Instead He blessed them saying, “Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground”.

 

Both man and woman were given authority and power over all things on earth. The line “Woman, your husband shall rule over you” comes up only when man and woman had disobeyed God’s command and had sinned.

 

God was furious and He cursed them. The man had to work and toil hard to be able to eat and provide. The woman was cursed with pain during childbearing and that her desires will be for her husband he shall rule over her. This is the root cause of what we see today. The curse is still very much true and alive. It can only be broken with the cross of Jesus Christ whose sacrifice is the redemption. A person can be redeemed and still be under the bondages of the curse because they haven’t grasped the true meaning of the power of redemption.

 

The curse to the serpent “And I will put enmity between you and the woman”, also still rings true. The devil works to suppress and oppress them.

However there is good news for women. When Jesus came he came to break the law and break the chains binding all mankind. When a person believes and accepts Jesus as her/his Lord and saviour she/he is set free from the curse. They get back their original intended position. Equal sons and daughters of God with authority and power all things in this world.

 

When people get this revelation do you know how empowering it is?

 

People may say God cursed the woman more harshly than he did the man. Well, you could say it’s true but it’s also true that Eve was the one who was tempted first and she gave the forbidden fruit to Adam. What people forget to notice is God loved them so much. I like to say women kind were a special creation of God, he created them because the man needed them – they are the divine helpers and rescuers. Man was made from dust but woman was made out of the bone of man. I like to think women indeed are special. I know I am biased, but you gotta admit too after reading this 😉

God was angry when they sinned but from Genesis 3:15 we can already see God intended to redeem and save them the moment they fell. “Out of the seed of a woman will crush the serpent’s head” – mark these words, it doesn’t say “man will crush the serpernt’s head”,  but “the seedof a woman”. Strange but true. The birth of Jesus and the plan of redemption was in motion the moment mankind fell, and woman again rise up to the occasion and give meaning to the reason they were created in the first place. They becomes the divine helpers in rescue of mankind. The curse was never meant to be forever.

 

Women who truly understands the word of God are free of this curse and it no longer applies to them. They know their worth and people around them can see their radiance. Most men find it hard to accept this fact. Mwn who feel threatened see that this no longer means they are the bigger, superior of the species with authority. They are equal with women.

 

Society conditioning is a big barrier that is hard to break, even good christians are still under the bondage of the curse and are many of them are never truly free.

 

Why do many christians marriages have so many problems?

 

Marriages look perfect on the outside, but it’s got so many issues on the inside.

Why are there so many “okay” but unhappy marriages?

If both men and women respect each other, value each other as equals, and not look down on the other, how do you think the marriage would look like?

 

If only more people knew of the potential and power they hold when they work together as equal partners.

 

There will be real trust, respect and appreciation on both sides. Isn’t that what love is all about?

 

I can say without a doubt that marriage built on such understanding will be the best ones – the happy and lasting marriages.

With that being said, a note to all the male population out there let this revelation sink in, your value doesn’t go down because of this, some of you already understand that, but probably some of you do not.  Just put your pride aside and come to terms with the truth. Your life will be a lot easier and you will gain the respect of women, and your relationship will be a lot healthier and happier.

 

And to all the female population out there, let this revelation sink in, know your worth and value, you were created special and you are no less than a man. Let no man treat you lesser than what God intended for you. Claim your rightful place. I guarantee you the right people will see it.

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